To Live.
You know,
I really want one of those love sick relationships, where my heart is the epitome of overwhelming emotion. The kind of love that brings me to near madness at the thought of it, near savage desire to rip my heart out because the emotion is too intense. The intense reminder that finally, finally my heart has taken over my mind and that choice is no longer an option. I want to fall sickly in love with your mind and suffer chronically with every ounce of your presence. I want to find every fault in your character so that I can soak in all of your radiating strengths. I would love for us to be conjoined not at the hip, but at the mind. Where, every thought, every emotion, and every motive is so in sync that I, myself, can not find the line that separates our similarities. I want to be so in touch with you, that you feel out of touch with yourself. I long for long days and nights alongside you and all your annoying and quirky habits. Your nagging and your constant reminders of things I really do not want to hear, are all things I want to listen to. I want my ears to belong to your thoughts, my mind clear for your words. I want to burn in your beauty because I can not get enough of your shine. I want to bleed in your presence if I can not stand your singing, but I really don’t want you to stop. I really don’t want you to stop. I want to turn my back, pouting and arm folding, furious and upset at your words, but, still, still so happy to be there with you. I want to tick you off so I can see your pouty face. I want to surprise you so I can see your look of confusion transform to expressions of joy. I want to see you cry so that you can remember that I can bring you back to square one. I really want to be mad when you’re mad so that I can express my frustration at an actual human being who in the end, forgives all but never tells all. I want to be frustrated with you because you really do not understand how much I love you. I am telling you, I want to tear out my heart because the emotion is too strong. I would die, if that was what love was.
But, love like this is living. And, admittedly, I have yet to live.
- DP, yarrreadyknow.
